Yet another fresh start

So I have gone the way of posting a profile on an internet dating site. Seeing as how I have not the time to go about a nightlife seeking companionship and work is the last place I need place any hope in meeting a genuine person without motive or intentions contrary to what I need, It seems my only choice.

I realize appearance is again of equal importance to that of personality, at least, in as much of personality as can be personified in a personal. I know what I am attracted to in both forms. While I seem open to personality in a wide range, I seek a physical persona closely relating to my own. I do not see shame in this, I simply seek a physical persona closely relating to my own.

I was close to a relationship with a woman whom did not meet what I would normally consider inside my physical desires. She was beautiful regardless, just never lost the weight associated with having a child. Her personality more than made up for it. At least at the stage we were at. I always carried the dread that should we get to a more physical stage her weight would be a turn off and that would slowly eat at me. I have been in that position before.

My ex fiance was 9 years my elder. While at 18 she looked like Kate Winslette in titanic, at 35 with a 16 y/o daughter, she was no less then 35 ibs heavier then I  at least and 4 inches shorter. what a beauty mark then was now a mole on the face. Simple things turned attention that lead to, resent. I worry what ill be like at an older age. If i cant now see attraction in the physical forms of some, will that change when im 40. Will I be then attracted to what was then a beautiful body at 21 but is now 40 like myself..

This is a worry I hopefully need not deal with at the moment, I still question it. I am sure I am best seeking one such as myself, my age or younger yet as mature in most ways as I am for my age or as I was at that age. I want a friend that is there for me in every way I am there for as a friend, that wants more, someone to share a bed with, someone who wants romance, wants satisfaction with a partner, wants to embrace the simple joys in life and a relationship, that could bloom into a lifelong union of souls.